Bellies and boobs
Yesterday was a rough day. I'm having a really hard time getting back into the swing of things. I've never had this experience after a vacation. It's not jet lag, I'm not sick, I just feel really blah about being home. My life seems so ordinary compared to life in London. That is what I enjoyed the most about being in London, was simply being in London. I didn't feel like I was visiting. Yes, I was staying in a hotel. Yes, I ate out 2-3 times a day. Yes, I saw the changing of the guard, Buckingham Palace, Westminster Abbey, and the Tower of London. Next time I go to London, and yes, there will be a next time, I would love to rent a flat, and just increase that experience even more. And I'd also like to try to find some yarn, and maybe quilting stores.
The first two days Carlos thought I seemed distant. I assured him nothing was wrong, but I think I was distant. Half of me was still in London, 5 time zones away! Yesterday it turned to out right cranky. This also brings us back to my belly. Yesterday, I left work at 4:30 and stopped at the library to pick up a mindless mystery to read. While I was there, my belly started hurting. It was Carlos' turn to cook and the night for Oscar's vet appointment, so I really should have been nice and taken Oscar myself. Instead, I was selfish and asked C if he would mind doing both. He didn't.
I had planned on finishing unpacking, doing laundry, and working a little on my craft room, as well as finally uploading my pictures to my computer. The belly was against this plan. I spent the night in the fetal position in the bed, with a few moments reading blogs and checking emails. (note to self: next time you go away for a week, stop your knitlist, socknitters, and canine adison's email lists!). Now, why I didn't use this time to upload London pictures, I don't really know.
I also did something else. There was something I didn't tell you about my trip to London, and the weeks before. I got fat (and incidently my breasts are huge!) I've always been relatively thing and able to hide (in clothing) the extra 5-10 lbs I carried in my butt and belly. Those days are gone. My clothes don't fit, tops and bottoms, my bras no longer support me, and I'm generally unhappy with my weight. Every effort to do it alone has failed, and I actually gained weight. I'm not 30lbs heavier than I want to be. Ediets was too regimented for me, and difficult to deal with on the nights Carlos cooks. So, last night I joined weight watchers, and I am committed to starting to exercies on a regular basis. (Although I am frustrated that the WW website has been down all morning so I don't know how many points I've eaten -- I'm curious to see how many points a regular day is for me).
This does all tie into the crankiness, I promise. So I finally get into bed for good, and Carlos is being all sweet about my not feeling well, and I mention that I joined WW and was thinking of starting to go at spinning classes after work again. I expected him to say that's great, honey or something along those lines, but instead, he reminded me how difficult a time I had getting to the spinning classes on time because you had to get there almost an hour early to sign up for the class. I lost it. I completley flipped out. I went on this rant about how I hated being this weight, I hated my job, I hated Allentown, and completly created unsolvable problems. Carlos was trying to offer sensible solutions, but I just shut them down. I feel awful, and he's rightfully aggravated. Grrr.
I do think some of the weight gain has to do with the fact that I doubled up my birth control to avoid having my period in London. My gyno told me this was safe, but if birth control tricks your body to thinking that its pregnant, could that mean the body thinks it is EXTRA pregnant? Might explain the boobs . . .
Comments
Sorry to hear you are having trouble settling back into regular life. Whereever you live unfortunately will become ordinary and humdrum eventually once the excitement of discovering all the new stuff has worn off.
Samuel Johnson said, "He who tires of London tires of life", but he said it in the 1600s when people didn't live that long!
I lived in London for two years and worked there for 12 commuting by train and tube and I did enjoy it, for the most part, I must say, but I didn't miss it when I stopped.
I hope you do get to go back, or find somewhere nearer home that gives you the same kind of buzz!
Did you visit John Lewis in Oxford Street? - they had pretty good yarn and fabric departments last time I was there.
Posted by: Jacquie | September 10, 2006 01:45 PM