Eat.Knit.Sleep

Totally not related to knitting -- anyone done a high deductible plan with an HSA for their health insurance, or am I just letting my big corporation employer off the hook?

Posted by Jenny at 06:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

So, today was C's first day at work, and it seems like a good fit. A lot of responsibility, the complete opposite of the cog in the giant machine he was in before he got laid off.

However, the new job is far away. Not so far that we have to move, but far enough that it is more convenient for him to stay in NJ 2 nights a week (I really hope my Dad meant it when he said this was ok).

So, his first big day and he's not coming home. Weird for me, and very weird for Oscar who has had him home with him for the last 4 months.

So, I made a salad for dinner, and am doing some laundry, drinking a beer, and frogging back my Secret of the Stole to the beginning. I made a mistake somewhere, and as I was tinking back to find it, I realized I really wish I had gone a needle size smaller, so that I will do. Hopefully, I won't regret it.

(BTW, lace knitters- Knitpicks is having a great sale including some of their lace weights. I may have bought some, and finally succumbed to buying Wrap Style even though I hate ponchos and can't imagine wearing a caplet!)

Posted by Jenny at 07:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I want to thank all of you for your good wishes on C's new job (and on the brown sweater - which I love). He starts tomorrow and he is uber excited.

Friday, I took a half day at work so we could celebrate. We went down to IKEA and bought a whole bunch of stuff -- a new bookshelf/yarn storage unit for me, some shades for C's office, a desk chair, and then headed down to Philly for the best place on earth: Monk's Cafe

While I know there is a lot of great food in the Lowell/Boston area -- I'm so glad we don't have to leave the driving vicinity of Monks! Belgian beer, mussels, what more can a girl want (and also in walking distance of Rosie's Yarn Cellar, but I didn't go this weekend)

Saturday we did a whole day of "back to work" shopping. C has lost some weight and wanted to get some new clothes and I have gained some weight and reluctantly bought new clothes; all in all a long tiring day where I DID NOT buy a new MacBook Pro.

We also registered for a half marathon this weekend, which is scary and exciting being that neither of us currently run on a regular basis.

I've also been knitting. Here are some progress shots of the Monkey socks and Ariann:

Posted by Jenny at 02:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

No, this is not yarn fumes from Rhinebeck - - I didn't go this year (boo). I did buy some yarn, but that is another story, but C has a job! And we don't have to sell the house in this godforsaken market! Yay!

Posted by Jenny at 05:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

It's my best fitting sweater yet . . . and I really need to clean my bathroom.

I hope to get a better picture, but we are in NJ this weekend so who knows.

I'm trying to pick back up on Ariann. I wish I had just knit this straight through, as I'm having a hard time figuring out where I was, or even what size I was knitting.

Posted by Jenny at 05:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

just in time to start Hint 2.

Please disregard crappy picture.

Posted by Jenny at 04:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

In fact, tired doesn't even describe how tired I actually am.

I did not get much sleep last night. That being said, the amount of sleep I got last night was more than a typical night in college, which was only 6 years ago.

Anyway, I was completely useless at work today, and was especially thrilled by the "motivational" emails my boss likes to send me to ask me why I am not on the phone with customers (on my lunch hour), and skipped out as soon as I could.

Did I rush home to take a nap? to have some tea? to go for a long walk with C and Oscar?

Nope. Secret of the Stole beckoned. I'm obsessed.

Posted by Jenny at 07:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I am really loving this pattern. I'm a bit further along than this photo represents, but my pictures weren't coming out well.

That picture also shows the Knitpicks Harmony DPNs for those of you who haven't seen them yet. They oddly match the yarn I'm using almost perfectly.

I've also cast-on for the Secret of the Stole and am loving knitting it so far. Pictures also came out blurry.

Turns out a personal day on Friday is just what I needed. Had lunch with C and picked up some yarn to make my Dad's Birthday present. (Henry if anyone is interested). We also watched Transamerica, which is worth watching.

Yesterday we slept late, which I hadn't done in FOREVER, and we took Oscar for a long walk, went out to lunch again (really great behavior for couple living on one income) and out for coffee.

Today I'm taking some much needed knitting time and then making chili (and C will make margaritas).

Good weekend overall, and I'm going to try to keep the stress levels down moving forward. I know eventually C will find a new job, and we will leave PA, and I will get to quit my job. So I'm going to try to do my job, but I'm not going to go above and beyond or succumb to the pressure and the stress and the "do or die" environment that they want me to or to the unethical behavior that some feel the need to do to keep their jobs. If I lose my job, then that's what happens.

Hope all of you are enjoying your weekends as well.

Posted by Jenny at 11:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Another thing that makes things better . . .

Posted by Jenny at 11:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Also, not one but TWO pairs of finished socks.

Not to be without a sock on the needles. I started a pair of Monkey's with this last night

No one at the yarn shop told C about dyelots but these look pretty close!

Posted by Jenny at 12:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I know I have been absent lately, and I really appreciate all of the congratulations you all gave to me and C. Unfortunately, they are all for naught. C didn't get the job.

I had planned a whole post explaining the drama and the crazy story, but I just don't have it in me. He didn't get the job, and we don't know what we are going to do, and I thought we were going to get through this because we were there for each other, but we are not.

I don't handle stress well. I need action, I need to move forward all the time or I feel like I am slipping backwards. I can't stand inertia or apathy, and apparantly all C wants to do is nothing. I tried to be there for him by bottling up everything I felt, and not talking to anyone about how scared I was, or how lost I felt. I really felt like people didn't even identify with my as my own person, separate from C, as all anyone wanted to talk to me about was how his job hunt was going, and how he was handling it, and acting like my only existance in life was to be there for him.

I started to get angry, irrationably angry. Not at anyone in particular, at everyone in particular. I resented C for being nice, or when he was distant, and on Saturday it came to a head. Everything he did drove me crazy and eventually after he cooked me a lovely meal, I flipped out. I took everything out on him, and all I wanted him to do was to tell me that everything would be ok, and we would get through it together.

He didn't.

In retrospect, how could he? He realize that I was stressed, or angry, or needed someone to talk to. That I wanted to talk to him. In retrospect, how could he when I was putting on an Acadamy Award performance of completely together perfect girlfriend.

I told someone on Friday that things were better than ever between C and me, and right now, I don't know if things will ever be ok today.

We've had a rocky past, C and I, and he is more angry at me than he ever has been. He won't interact with me, he won't talk to me, and he just throws unnecessary comments around all day long.

An empty beer bottle on the counter? "Are you ever going to take any of your shit to recycling?"

Oscar didn't get his medicine (two person job) "Why do you take things out on an innocent dog?"

Need his social to get him up and running on my insurance "My life is not your problem."

I'm not trying to victimize myself. I basically picked a fight for no good reason because I needed to yell and he was there. I'm not proud of it, and do believe he has a reasonable right to be angry with me but he won't let up. I got angry because I was feeling out of control, isolated, and alone. I love living my life with C and feeling like I have a partner, but it times like this I feel like I don't have anything to do with my destiny, and it sucks. A similar crisis happened 2 years ago when we moved to PA, and it took us years to get past it, and I can't go through this again.

I have faith in our love for one another, and intellectually I know we will get through this but it doesn't change that fact that I am at work in a job that I despise and I am an emotional wreck right now.

But this is a knitting blog, and I've been knitting like crazy since this all happened. I'm on the gussett decreases on my Calla Lilly socks. I've finished the knitting on my Boatneck sweater. I've started a Forest Canopy shawl and a Somewhat Cowl. I'm waiting for Secret of the Stole to start. I'm learning fair isle.

I will get through this. I'm stressed, he's stressed, and we need to learn how to be stressed together, and life is basically trial and error. This is a repeated error. I think I need to start a new pair of socks, with the Lorna's Laces C bought me on Wed, as a suprise present, before he found out the job fell through, for me to knit to wear in our new life in Mass. Maybe if I knit those socks, it will help.

Posted by Jenny at 12:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)